Still Here

from lilmisscatty on iconator.com

Listening to Variations on the Ash Grove arr. Joseph Martin (I really love this melody, and this is a wonderful arrangement. Another addition to the "Will Learn Before I Die" List.)
Avoiding Stats at all costs.
    I promise I am still here! Lucille has finally returned, and she's had quite the face lift. I had to get her lid replaced, and it is now no longer black, but a very vibrant purple. It's definitely less slimming than the black, but it's okay. We've cut cookies out of her diet. HA Computer pun... And that one was a freebie!
    Speaking of puns, I'll return to your regularly scheduled content next Punday. You will get your Letters to Inanimate Objects for the week by Friday (I should think).
    Until then, I leave you with this little visual my friend Johnny and I came up with during our lunch today:

    I know, we're hysterical.

Just Puntastic

from no_taint_of_sin at iconator.com

Listening to absolutely nothing because none of my music is in my iTunes library anymore. Kill me now.
Thinking about all the things that are annoying me right now.
    In case you can't already tell, I'm not in the best of moods. For starters, I was under the impression that everything that was on my old hard drive was transferred to the new one. Evidently I misunderstood, since I now have only 294 songs on my computer when I used to have over 1100. Not okay. On top of that, I paid for expedited shipping for my Norton Anthology of American Literature, and I received an email today informing me that it will not be here until the 26th at the very least. That's two classes that I will be without my book. Also not okay. To make matters worse, I'm flat broke, and need gas and school supplies, and my contacts won't be here until Friday. I only have three more pairs of contacts, which means I'm going to have to wear my stupid glasses for two more days. Stupid, stupid glasses. They're not even the right prescription anymore, but I can't even afford to pay eight bucks for a cheap new pair online. I can't afford good vision. Sorry to anyone who sees me on the road. 
    Let's improve this massive amount of suck with some awesome, as the VlogBrothers would say. And what's more awesome than a few puns? I only have a few, but I've saved them for you. (Yes. I rhymed on purpose. Because I'm awesome.)

• I follow Owl City on Twitter, and I read this tweet while on my break at work: "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later." I laughed so hard, my frozen mocha almost came out my nose. 
• This one I heard from one of my managers - for future reference, we'll call him Swaggy. He asked me, "What did the baker say on payday?" The answer: "I knead my dough." HA. That's a clever one. 

    Speaking of which, I could use some dough myself. Maybe I'll sell a kidney. I hear they're pretty pricey.

Lucille's Tragedy

from MOViESTARxMATERiAL on iconator.com

Humming Starlight by Muse
Craving Pretzel M&Ms. I had a bag earlier. And by a bag, I don't mean 99 cents at the register. I mean, search for it by the five-packs of gum in the candy aisle.
I swear I have an excuse this time. No, really, I do. My hard drive crashed. Lucille - my laptop - was in the shop for two weeks, and she now has a new hard drive and none of my old data. Except for my book, which I thankfully had the insight to rescue and move to a jump drive. I now understand the importance of "backing up" one's hard drive. I now also know the definition of "backing up" in reference to a hard drive. Yes, I am that technologically illiterate.
    At least I'm not grammatically illiterate.Which would be unfortunate for an English major.
    Or just illiterate. Equally unfortunate.
    Poor joke.
    So there's that. Also, I have been working quite a bit, and babysitting (which I honestly haven't done in quite some time), and some other things which I shall probably tell you about tomorrow(ish) or Saturday. And classes started yesterday. I'm taking fifteen hours, which is really not that bad, but the load will be heavy, so I'll have to get on a set schedule for posts.
    Here's what I'm thinking. Letters to Inanimate Objects (and Random People) at the end of the week - think Saturday nights, so I can write letters to Panera's new toaster. Let's call 'im Squealer. And either Sunday or Monday will be "Punday," depending on when I have time to be clever, and how much cleverness I can remember. And if I can think of any other clever posty ideas, I'll definitely squeeze them in. Along with a few sporadic ramblings about books, literature, and writing. I am, after all, in two English classes. And this blog is, in fact, called Dang Write! I might as well write at least a bit on the subject of writing itself.
    On that note, I've been reading The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Now, the movie The Secret Garden (yes, the one with Maggie Smith, who plays Professor McGonagall in Harry Potter, as Mrs. Medlock), was always a favorite movie of mine as a child. I loved the gray, Gothic moors and how much it contrasted with the beauty of the garden once Mary and Dickon had tended to it. I loved the magic of Colin's walking, and how he acted like a little Rajah, and how Mary was the only person who could control him at all. The whole thing was just so magical, and as a child obsessed with magic, you can understand the draw. Well, when I was about ten, I got my hands on a copy of the novel from the church library (which was also the school library) and readied myself to be equally impressed with Burnett's writing.
    But I wasn't. I was impatient, and though the writing really wasn't that heavy, it was just too much for my ravenous mind to chew. So I returned it to its shelf, and didn't look back.
    Until a week and a half ago at Barnes and Noble. It called to me from the Classics shelf, I swear. My mom was in the bathroom, and I already had a twenty dollar hardbound collection of Poe in my grip, but I reached for it. I haven't been able to put it down since. The book, as they almost always are, is so much better than the movie I remember as a child; I am, however glad I saw it first. I still have those actors' faces and voices in my mind's eye (and ear) as I read, and it's like I can see it so much more clearly for being familiar with the characters already.
    Anyway, I digress. The purpose of this was to recommend it to you. It's fantastic, a quick read, and everything is simply put. I didn't have to re-read a single sentence, unless I wanted to. And some were just so beautifully written, that I did. So go buy it. It's cheap, and wonderful. (Which sounds dirty.) Get your mind out of the gutter and into The Secret Garden.

What a Punderful World

Listening to A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton (I know you remember this song)
About to read either The Secret Garden, or some Poe. He's delightfully creepy. 
    I know. I am so bad at consistency. At least I'm consistently inconsistent, right? I've had sort of a crazy few weeks. Two weeks ago, I worked six days, so I didn't have much time to blog - unless I wanted to lose sleep. Plus I was a little occupied in my free time. Then, last week I was on vacation in Florida with my family, and we didn't have a reliable internet connection. Plus the car broke down 40 miles from our destination and the sun thought it would be funny to burn me to a crisp on a cloudy day when I wasn't expecting it. It was a painful week.
    Now, I know what you're thinking. "If you've been home since Sunday, why haven't you blogged?" I was collecting puns, my dear friends, so that this week's puntastic post can be the punniest of all (so far, at least). 

• I don't know how much this one can be considered a pun, but it was a clever play on words. At this restaurant at the beach with my family, we saw a guy whose pants read "BAD ASS." My dad commented, "Maybe he should work out more." I laughed a little more than was necessary. I was really tired, okay?
• My dad and I (in the tow truck) were talking about how foreign people always smell weird. I said, "Sometimes, French perfumes and colognes smell like urine." Dad said, "Like 'pépé'?" And I said, "No, like oui-oui." Not a very nice one, I know. But again, we were all a little worn out.
• Yesterday, I was texting a friend of mine, who was cleaning tables at his work. I said, "Sounds like a blast. I'm about to dry my hair. Which blows." HA. So funny.