Letters to Inanimate Objects 9/20

from chelseyannn on iconator.com

Listening to All About Us by He Is We featuring Owl City. No lie, this song has been on repeat for a good three weeks now. 
Pondering what I'm going to do with my short story for fiction writing - it's due Thursday!
    It's been a while since I wrote some letters. Although I still do it out loud frequently, none have them have been funny enough to post here. So here are a few I found scattered through my notes over the past few weeks:

Dear Lucille, 

It's good to have you back, friend. I must say, I was a bit put off by your new look, but I'm sure it will grow on me (it has). Now that we've been through this traumatic experience, I think we will value one another much more in our future endeavors. I promise to be as respectful and considerate of you as you are of me. This is a two way street, you know. Respect goes both ways. If you promise not to crash again and lose lots of valuable information, I promise I won't "accidentally" drop you. Deal? Deal.

Dear Future Sarah Jane,

You'd better be just as awesome (read: completely dorky) in the future-present as you are now in the past-present. Don't be ashamed of your nerdy geek-hood. People will at least respect your confidence if they don't respect you yourself.  And please, for your own good, keep up with the chiropractor. Yeah, I know you hate it when your joints pop, but it's for the sake of your well-being. Remember that time your third year in college when you didn't want to move your head because it made your whole back hurt? Yeah, I knew you didn't want to go back there. 

Dear Back, Neck, and Shoulders,

I'm sorry I haven't kept you healthy. I'm also sorry that I've been stressed and have caused your muscles to harden until they feel like they're made of piano strings instead of muscle fibers.  It sucks, I know. I feel your pain. Literally. But we'll get through this. I'm taking you to the chiropractor again next week.

Pun-believeable

from Poetry_and_Sound on iconator.com

Listening to Vince Guaraldi Christmas music. I'm starting early this year, guys. I got a taste of fall last week and I am not letting go. Bring on the candy corn. 
Not sleeping because there's a full moon and that's when the werewolves come out - kidding. It's really bright and it shines in my window because my blinds were lost in a tragic jumping-on-the-bed incident a few years ago (read: last year) so I can't sleep.
    I went pun-crazy this past week, guys. "Crazy-pants," as my friend Hannah Cynthia Lane says. I had some help, of course, but my oh my did I make some jokes. Here are a few to tide you over until I get all my Letters in order (they're scattered among all my school notes).
    [When discussing my steak with my friend Johnny]

• Me: "I want my steak rare!"
• Johnny: "That rarely happens. ha ha."
• Me (this one was completely unintentional): "HA! Well done!"

    [Discussing my American Literature professor]

• "He was still barking on about Hawthorne." Get it? Because a hawthorn is a tree? Barking? Laugh, please. I beg you.

    [Background: Did you know that Ralph Waldo Emerson had a son named Waldo who died, and this death and the death of his wife were highly influential in his writing?]

• "Where's Waldo? DEAD." Sorry, that one was a little harsh, but I found it morbidly funny. 

    [This one was in a note to my friend Hayden during American Literature]

• Alright, can we be done with Hawthorne and move on to Poe?
• Professor: "Now, you read in the Poe story..."
• Yes!!
• Professor: "But when you look back at Hawthorne..."
• Quoth the professor: Nevermore.

    Side note: I'm trying to be more organized this semester, guys. I'm trying really hard. My room is all clean and pretty, and my books are all organized. I even bought a planner. I'm still trying to get my blogging schedule worked into my school-work-homework schedule, but it's going to happen, I promise! 

Midnight Vigor

from xxx_vintageglam at iconator.com

Listening to rain pattering on the leaves outside. That's right - both of my windows are wide open because this weather is fantastic.

Feeling über accomplished.

    For some absurd reason, when my family starts turning out their lights and closing their doors, I get a massive burst of energy that I cannot possibly ignore. Normally, I waste it by staying up until three a.m. doing nothing of any importance on Lucille (my laptop). But tonight, my friends, tonight I fueled the energy burst with a bottle of coke, so it was twice as bad. There was no possible way to sit still during this one. (That's what she said. Sorry, couldn't resist.) So I decided to rearrange my room.

    I twisted my hair up in chopsticks - that's when you know I mean business - and went to work. It took me roughly three hours, but my room looks great, now, and I feel so organized and mature. I couldn't help sitting down at my desk (no longer covered in clean laundry, and actually looking like I could do homework there) and thinking, "This must be what successful adults feel like when they get something big done. Like remembering to finish their load of laundry in the washing machine, or buying healthy groceries that aren't dinosaur-shaped." Even though dinosaur-shaped makes everything taste better.

    Not only are my clothes put away and my shoes off the floor, but I moved all the baby clothes my mom had been keeping in my closet downstairs. Now I have room for my own clothes. On both sides of the closet. And I organized all of my flats into my sister's old barbie doll hanging holder she'd put on the back of my closet door. Once you take out the naked and unfortunate-looking dolls, it works perfect for shoes, I swear. Greatest idea ever. A few weeks ago, I'd gotten rid of extra clothes in my closet and dresser, and folded everything nice and neat, so that's all organized. I'd cleaned out my desk, too, so all those drawers have been put to good use. (That was when I had my demon/scorpion/stalker/murderer experience. The little freak was just chilling in my shirt. Yes, in. As in the shirt on my body. It wouldn't die, either! I crushed him with a binder, one of my black flats, and a stiletto, and the thing reincarnated itself every time! I finally went at him with hairspray until he was glued to the carpet, and he was still trying to kill me even as I froze him in place. Then I plucked him from the floor with jewelry pliers and flushed him to kingdom come. Hear that, arachnids everywhere?! Come near me and I will kill you, dead!) I even found a place for most of my books. I couldn't fit them all on my bookshelf, but I got them off the floor. 

    I also realized that I am in the middle of ten different books right now - despite the fact that my little list on the sidebar only has about five or so. I'm really bad about that, reading more than one book at a time. I'm almost finished with one, though, and two of the others are story collections that I just read when I can't sleep or something. And I found three different pairs of glasses.

    I'm still really energized so I think I'll work on my book a little. I'm in the process of rewriting the beginning. Again. We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck, my lovely lit. lovers!