Letters to Inanimate Objects 9/20

from chelseyannn on iconator.com

Listening to All About Us by He Is We featuring Owl City. No lie, this song has been on repeat for a good three weeks now. 
Pondering what I'm going to do with my short story for fiction writing - it's due Thursday!
    It's been a while since I wrote some letters. Although I still do it out loud frequently, none have them have been funny enough to post here. So here are a few I found scattered through my notes over the past few weeks:

Dear Lucille, 

It's good to have you back, friend. I must say, I was a bit put off by your new look, but I'm sure it will grow on me (it has). Now that we've been through this traumatic experience, I think we will value one another much more in our future endeavors. I promise to be as respectful and considerate of you as you are of me. This is a two way street, you know. Respect goes both ways. If you promise not to crash again and lose lots of valuable information, I promise I won't "accidentally" drop you. Deal? Deal.

Dear Future Sarah Jane,

You'd better be just as awesome (read: completely dorky) in the future-present as you are now in the past-present. Don't be ashamed of your nerdy geek-hood. People will at least respect your confidence if they don't respect you yourself.  And please, for your own good, keep up with the chiropractor. Yeah, I know you hate it when your joints pop, but it's for the sake of your well-being. Remember that time your third year in college when you didn't want to move your head because it made your whole back hurt? Yeah, I knew you didn't want to go back there. 

Dear Back, Neck, and Shoulders,

I'm sorry I haven't kept you healthy. I'm also sorry that I've been stressed and have caused your muscles to harden until they feel like they're made of piano strings instead of muscle fibers.  It sucks, I know. I feel your pain. Literally. But we'll get through this. I'm taking you to the chiropractor again next week.