Things At Which I Am Pun-Skilled

from here

Chilling out to Waltz of the Snowflakes by Tchaikovsky, from the Nutcracker (Yes, I realize that it's no longer Christmas time, and that I'm also not "chilling" as the high today was about 65 degrees and it's January, and there isn't a snowflake in sight. Welcome to Georgia.)
Once again unable to sleep.
    Here's the deal, my little bloglets (I don't mean the diminutive form of "blog"... more of a cross of "blogger" and "Piglet." Don't judge me). I haven't gone to bed at a reasonable hour since last year. I don't mean that in a joking "it's only January, so it wasn't that long ago" way. I mean, for the past month I've laid staring up at my ceiling until 2:45-4 a.m., desperately longing to fall asleep and unable to do so. A month is a long time to survive on very little sleep, people. Yes, I have tried taking things like Benadryl and Advil P.M., and drinking herbal tea, and not doing things on my computer right before I want to sleep. For the most part, the most active thing I do before bed is read a book, and I know from the experience of falling asleep while reading in the past that this is not something that would keep me awake.
    Truth be told, I think it's stress. What I'm stressing over, I have no idea. My semester's going smoothly, work is fine, and the process of moving and getting to know my new roommates and Haley has been one of the most delightfully easy experiences ever. So why am I not sleeping? The answer remains illusive.
    So here I am, at two a.m. completely bushed, and not able to fall asleep. My solution? Blog! If this whole thing makes no sense, you now know why. Here are 5 things I'm not good at!

1. Sleeping. We've been through this.
2. Waking up on time. I feel this is sort of a cause and effect thing. I don't sleep, so I don't wake up. There you go.
3. Being prepared for things, like class. I'm actually getting better at this one this semester - I've been prepared for most of my classes these last two weeks. Other than not having my books yet, but I had ordered them, they just hadn't arrived. Not my fault. :)
4. Eating healthy. Another thing I'm improving on, but still not perfect. I eat healthily at work, and on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays. Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday need some help. I'm feeling some Chick-fil-A in my future. Bright side: the closest Chick-fil-A to my new house - which will henceforth be referred to as the SHAM-house* - is about ten to fifteen minutes away. Because I'm a lazy person, I'm hoping my laziness will override my love for Chick-fil-A. I know this is improbable, but here's hoping, right?
5. Working out when I really should. Yeah, I know what those of you who know me are saying: "You don't need to work out - you're skinny!" So what? Skinny people are still unhealthy and can get sick because of weak  immune systems and poor diets. Trust me; I know from experience. Luckily, my favorite way I've ever worked out is ballet, and there's a perfect banister at the SHAM-house to use for barre work. I just have to get my lazy butt up to do it!

    After all that negative, here are a few things I am good at: Puns!

• At work the other night, I made a dorky joke (when don't I?) and my co-worker Jessica said, "You are so corny." I replied, "What are you talking about? I'm a-maize-ing! Maize! Like corn? Corny?" Yeah, I probably didn't need to explain it, but I felt it necessary since she couldn't see me spelling "a-maize-ing" in my head as I spoke it. 
• I met Johnny and his girlfriend - who is all kinds of awesome - for a late lunch on Friday, and Johnny, skinny white nerd that he is, made this hilarious pun: "I'm so g I'm almost h." I feel like someone might have made that joke before, but based solely on my obnoxious guffaw when I heard it, you'd think otherwise. 
• On the same day, Johnny's girl Tori announced, "There's a hipster in the house!" So I said, "At least it's not a thigh-ster." Ha.

* Have you noticed I'm totally into asterisks right now? They're so freakin' fun! So, SHAM-house. It's from the initials of it's inhabitants: Sarah (Jane), Haley, Allison, Miranda. It was either SHAM or MASH. And we decided SHAM-house sounds like SHAM-WOW, so we liked that better.