Wait

Listening to the rain (wrote this Sunday night during a storm - so appropriate, I know).
Trying to stay positive.
    I've been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now, which isn't a lot in the long run, but it's longer than a lot of relationships last. Long distance was something I always thought of as a deal-breaker, though. And now I'm looking at another year and a half of long-distance before Corey's and my relationship takes its next step.
    And it's not easy. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done (heyo!). In all seriousness, if Corey wasn't already my best friend, this relationship never would have lasted. If I hadn't already had practice keeping in touch while he was in basic and knowing what I was getting into that Thanksgiving, I never would've been able to handle it. And I'm sure he wouldn't either. But at least I had a reliable means of communicating with him at that point.
    Add in the fact that this is a military relationship (another deal-breaker for younger and less mature Sarah), and you've truly got one of the most difficult relationships - and we've had it relatively easy. The worst we've dealt with was when he was in Afghanistan last summer, a deployment we were told would be seven to nine months which turned out being a mere five and a half. God's hand was all over that blessing. And they were only under fire once the whole time, and nowhere near where Corey was at the time. God had his hands on me that whole time, too - He kept me from depression, which runs in my family, and kept me mostly positive.
    I think I've had more days down in the dumps since he's been back, honestly - not because he's back, of course. It's just - he's in North Carolina, two states away, but still far enough travel-wise that I can't see him except every couple of months. So close and still so far. I know other couples have it worse, but that knowledge really doesn't make it any easier. It just makes me feel more guilty when I complain. (It's like something Corey says in the winter: "Putting on a jacket doesn't make you much warmer. It makes you a little less cold." He may or may not have gotten that from a comedian. I don't know; he likes so many I can't keep track of them all.)
    We've thought about getting married sooner. "So we don't have to be apart," we say. I could live on base with him, he'd get paid more, and we'd get to start "the rest of our lives" right now. But what happens when he's deployed in January? That's a pretty big strain on a new marriage. And Corey doesn't want to stay living where he is now; he wants to come back to our families in Georgia. So what, I'd move up for a year and then we'd have to go through the trouble of moving it all back in a year? Plus, I'm not finished with school and the closest state school to him doesn't have the program I need (plus I really love the Latin professor I have now - shout out to the amazing Dr. E!) Even if I moved up after I graduated, I'd only be there for three months before he got out, which is less time than it would take for me to find a job up there. The only option we have is to be apart until he gets out and we get married.
    I knew before I even kissed him two years ago that this relationship would end in one of two ways - we'd break up or end up getting married at some point. And after I kissed him I knew which one it would be. Knowing that this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with is the only thing that keeps me going some days. I think about how I haven't seen him since the Fourth of July and how I still have another month until I'll get to see him again, and I can't help but fell the hot pricks of tears and the knot in my throat. But then I think how thoughtful he is, and how funny and clever and generous, and loving - not just to me, but all the people he's close to. I think about everything that makes him wonderful and I know that it's worth the wait.
     Waiting just sucks.

Anyone  else in a military relationship or long-term long-distance? Any advice? How do you stay positive?

Things Lately

Listening to the soundtrack from Ever After.
Avoiding the veritable mountain of homework I have due tomorrow.
    Life this past week got interesting. That's the best word I can think of to sum it up. Some of it was bad, but it wasn't all bad. And some of it was really wonderful, but it definitely wasn't all wonderful. For example, Friday was Friday the thirteenth. But because I'm non-conformist and not superstitious, I celebrated early with an awful Thursday the twelfth. The day started with my alarm being set for 7:30 pm instead of am, and ended with a parking ticket. You can just fill in the blanks from there (but I will say that in the middle somewhere I was told that "being independent doesn't make you special, it makes you less feminine," and that I "shouldn't even be called a lady").
    That night, I also received a call from my bffl Suzanne with news of her dad, whom I affectionately call Horace. He's been dealing with some heart problems recently - I would say "struggling" with some heart problems, but honestly, a month ago when it all started, it rather miraculously healed itself, so that part wasn't really too much of a struggle. Now, though, because he didn't get into surgery soon enough, he's been paralyzed from the waist down. Now, I've known Suzanne and her family since the fourth grade. We've been best friends for twelve years now. Her big sister is like my big sister, and her parents like my second set. I know it seems overdramatic to be so affected by this news - after all, it's not my dad - but it really did throw me. It doesn't seem to have thrown him, though. I spoke to him (and Suzanne, of course) on the phone on Friday, and I couldn't detect the slightest note of sadness in his voice. There will be sadness, and dark times, I'm sure, and Suzanne says every so often she can tell he's down, but overall, he's taking it so well. The whole family is. He told me on the phone, "Today, I put on socks, which is great! And," keep in mind, he's in the hospital, now, "Maybe next week, I'll get to put on pants, which is even better!" I mean, he's just so positive. Suzanne said he told her that he sees this as God, as our shepherd, breaking his legs (as shepherds do) and throwing him over His shoulders so that he must depend more on Him. Which is just so inspirational. I have to say that I'm so proud of him, of all of them.
    For those of you who recall my mom having surgery a few weeks ago, a little update. She's healing really well. It's difficult for her, seeing it every day, and not noticing too much change, but really, it's healing so much faster and more smoothly than I expected. Her forehead bears just a faint pink line now, and the skin on her nose (at the bottom, the top still has the skin flap until this Friday) is blending perfectly, and she doesn't have too much lasting pain. She does have a headache that's been an issue, but only because of the tightness in her forehead and the bruising. That will all go away. I'm so proud of her for going back to teaching so soon after it happened, too!
    Lastly, I went to a wedding Saturday night! It was Corey's dad's fiancée's daughter's wedding (hard to follow, I know). And it was beautiful. Of course, because I can't go to important events without screwing something up, I went to the wrong wedding first. Turns out there was another wedding going on at the same place at the same time - just a different building. But their decorations looked lovely, and their guests were very nice! It was only when I asked if anyone had seen Amanda yet, and they were like, "Who?" that I realized this was not the right place. Thing was, I only knew two of the guests personally who weren't in the wedding party, so I wouldn't have recognized anyone going into the wedding anyways. That was embarrassing, but whatever. I got there just in time and the ceremony was lovely and sweet, and the reception was possibly the most fun I've ever had at a wedding - and I've been to a lot! I spent the whole time with Brett (Corey's brother) and his girlfriend Robin, who are two of my favorite people on earth. We celebrated until about one in the morning and I danced until my feet hurt, and then kept dancing. The only downside was that Corey couldn't make it (thanks, USMC) and it was sort of depressing watching everyone holding their significant others close for slow dances while I sat in a chair by the dance floor. But the groom, Nick, did ask me for a dance towards the end which was super sweet. He was on the trip when Corey proposed and it was very considerate of him and Amanda to think of me missing Corey on their big day. Just shows you what a wonderfully sweet couple they are. And I know they're going to have an equally wonderfully sweet marriage.

I know this was a long post, but for those of you who were interested enough to read to the end, thanks. I realize it may not have been what everyone wanted from a Monday post, but I've got more on my mind than the next pointers post or tutorial. Sometimes I just need to get out what I'm thinking so I have room to think more.

Engaging

Listening to the rain outside. Flood warning in effect for my area. ha ha. Weather Channel humor.
Craving some strong black tea.
    So I guess I should mention that Corey and I got engaged. I'm a little late, and I do apologize, but this time I was actually hesitant to blog about it; I didn't just forget. I wasn't sure I wanted to share the whole story since it's very personal and special to both of us. But I thought really long and hard about it. I have quite a few blogs that I follow closely, and when you consistently read someone's thoughts and opinions, you feel like you know them, even if you don't personally. And I would be bummed if any of them withheld such a big life event from their faithful readers. So I'll just give the short version and a pic or two to keep all five of you in the loop.

    I knew it was coming sometime this year, I just didn't know when. He'd started asking what kind of rings I like, but to be honest, I was expecting it around the Fourth of July when I'm going up to visit him. I was not expecting it to happen at the beach with his whole family. He asked me to go with him to find his brother Bretticus and his girlfriend Robbie who had gone down to walk on the beach. What they'd actually done is go and hide to take pictures. The whole proposal didn't go entirely as planned, but nothing ever does for us. For goodness sake, we got the flu right before we went down to Disney World this Christmas.

    It was super cute and unexpected and perfect for us, and he managed to keep it a surprise the whole time we were down there until we actually started walking down the beach and he started acting all nervous and goofy. Then I figured something was up, I just wasn't sure what. Maybe a picnic on the beach for dinner? Nope. Proposal!