Listening to the rain (wrote this Sunday night during a storm - so appropriate, I know).
Trying to stay positive.
I've been in a long distance relationship for almost two years now, which isn't a lot in the long run, but it's longer than a lot of relationships last. Long distance was something I always thought of as a deal-breaker, though. And now I'm looking at another year and a half of long-distance before Corey's and my relationship takes its next step.
And it's not easy. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done (heyo!). In all seriousness, if Corey wasn't already my best friend, this relationship never would have lasted. If I hadn't already had practice keeping in touch while he was in basic and knowing what I was getting into that Thanksgiving, I never would've been able to handle it. And I'm sure he wouldn't either. But at least I had a reliable means of communicating with him at that point.
Add in the fact that this is a military relationship (another deal-breaker for younger and less mature Sarah), and you've truly got one of the most difficult relationships - and we've had it relatively easy. The worst we've dealt with was when he was in Afghanistan last summer, a deployment we were told would be seven to nine months which turned out being a mere five and a half. God's hand was all over that blessing. And they were only under fire once the whole time, and nowhere near where Corey was at the time. God had his hands on me that whole time, too - He kept me from depression, which runs in my family, and kept me mostly positive.
I think I've had more days down in the dumps since he's been back, honestly - not because he's back, of course. It's just - he's in North Carolina, two states away, but still far enough travel-wise that I can't see him except every couple of months. So close and still so far. I know other couples have it worse, but that knowledge really doesn't make it any easier. It just makes me feel more guilty when I complain. (It's like something Corey says in the winter: "Putting on a jacket doesn't make you much warmer. It makes you a little less cold." He may or may not have gotten that from a comedian. I don't know; he likes so many I can't keep track of them all.)
We've thought about getting married sooner. "So we don't have to be apart," we say. I could live on base with him, he'd get paid more, and we'd get to start "the rest of our lives" right now. But what happens when he's deployed in January? That's a pretty big strain on a new marriage. And Corey doesn't want to stay living where he is now; he wants to come back to our families in Georgia. So what, I'd move up for a year and then we'd have to go through the trouble of moving it all back in a year? Plus, I'm not finished with school and the closest state school to him doesn't have the program I need (plus I really love the Latin professor I have now - shout out to the amazing Dr. E!) Even if I moved up after I graduated, I'd only be there for three months before he got out, which is less time than it would take for me to find a job up there. The only option we have is to be apart until he gets out and we get married.
I knew before I even kissed him two years ago that this relationship would end in one of two ways - we'd break up or end up getting married at some point. And after I kissed him I knew which one it would be. Knowing that this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with is the only thing that keeps me going some days. I think about how I haven't seen him since the Fourth of July and how I still have another month until I'll get to see him again, and I can't help but fell the hot pricks of tears and the knot in my throat. But then I think how thoughtful he is, and how funny and clever and generous, and loving - not just to me, but all the people he's close to. I think about everything that makes him wonderful and I know that it's worth the wait.
Waiting just sucks.
Anyone else in a military relationship or long-term long-distance? Any advice? How do you stay positive?
